Let's try this again...
Promises and positive outlook for 2024
It’s officially 2024 and I started the new year with the worst lower back pain imaginable. Resulting in me staying in bed almost all weekend long which was a bummer because I had things to do such as…going to the movies alone to see The Iron Claw and sobbing alone in the theater, exchange gifts with my friend, and just being anywhere far from home.
I feel pretty bad in how I chose to close my year with my Substack or as I call it Sad-stack because I just came off as a whiny little asshole. Just because I had a crummy year and ended it in physical pain doesn’t excuse me to write something so utterly depressing. Years change, people don’t, I shrug as hand over nothing but more doom in an already doomed world. But I don’t want this to be a place of just doom and self pity. Another boring cliché of someone using their platform to indulge in their sadness. Not cool. I’m a pretty funny gal majority of the time. I like making people feel comfortable and to not see me and think, “Oh no, here’s come Debbie fucking Downer.” So I’m sorry if my last post was too depressing for you. That is what happens when you lay in bed all weekend in complete pain, contemplating life choices, etc
Originally this was suppose to be a place for me to talk about pop culture and things I enjoy with a critical lens. I don’t know what happened to turn it into a place of sad poetry and even sadder post. What I hope to accomplish this year is learning how to bleed both my love of pop culture and my feelings together in a meaningful, cohesive way that isn’t just me fawning over something or just crying to the world like a spoiled brat. I want these post to pop up in your email with JOY and EXCITEMENT! Oh, boy, Jade gifted us once again with her funny wisdom and awesome insight! So how do I do that? Every month I will attempt to write one good essay about something I love or that has been eating at me for years to write about. I have movies I want to talk about, playlist to dissect, and yes, poetry to be heard. So, please be patient with me I am a very stubborn gal when it comes to wallowing, self-pity. That’s why I have a therapist.
So here is the IN’s and OUT’S of 2024:
IN:
Critical thinking
Specialized playlist for people I care about
Poetry
Short stories
Telling people I miss them more often
Creative collaborations
Actors who can just “act”
Ben Foster
Being sexually attracted to Kevin McDonald from Kids in the Hall
Fucked up teeth
Sex in Films
Talking to yourself in your car as though you are in a podcast
Having complicated feelings for things you love and their creators
Listening to The Smiths
3 hour naps
Karaoke
90 minute movies
Washing your hair how many times of the week you want
Reading however many books you want with no pressure
OUT:
Panic attacks
Politness
Capitalism
Ableism
Veneers (Except for you, Ben Affleck those work for you)
Face/hair regimens that require too many steps
Actors who can’t just “act”
3 hour movies (except for you Marty.)
Hecklers
Hiding feelings for the sake of being “too much”
Making fun of me for finding Kevin McDonald sexually attractive
“Is this sex scene necessary?” discourse
Films being provocative for the sake of being provocative
Thinking that every relationship between a twenty-something year old and someone older is grooming. (look up that word please.)
Girlhood as a means to convince women that dressing/acting like a girl is the reclaiming of our childhood/teen-hood when it’s really to make us continue clinging onto the idea that we are only worthy or beautiful if we still tie bows in our fucking hair. It still feels patriarchal and capitalistic IMO.
BookTok
The phrase “Healing my inner child”
I hope you stick around here. I promise I won’t make this a weekly suicide note. It’ll still be a challenge I assure you that but, I will give it my best to make this a space where you want to stop whatever it is you’re doing to read my post. Sure, some themes I'll get into will be dark and I will come here to share some harsh revelations that I have made but I’ll put a joke here and there. Poetry will most likely be sad still, of course. 2024 is the year that I take more artistic chances. I would love to write and post a short story on here, write about my love and frustrations with the Endless Love adaptations, express why the film Riding in Cars With Boys is one of the best depictions of complicated and toxic motherhood, do more theatre, perhaps conquer my fear and do a musical(!), attend poetry readings, publish a poem somewhere that accepts amateurs, make more playlist for people, etc. So, hang out a little longer will ya?
Here is my last good playlist I made last fall as a sweet treat.